Being the mean mom that I am, I have chosen Edward over my children. Now I am not a crazy psycho that is leaving my kids and husband to travel the world stalking Edward (Rob). No, I really do love them. Really. The problem is that they can't seem to keep their dirty little mitts off of my Edwards. It drives me freakin' crazy!!!!!
I had mentioned that MrsMe purchased me my very own life-size Edward. Regardless of the fact that he scares the shit out of me, I don't want anyone to touch him. (that is including my ladies who like to cop a feel.) Just get the f**k off my vampire!! I feel the same about my "baby" Edward, which is what PAB calls him. I don't want to find him in any one's mouth, I don't want to find him floating in the bathtub. I just want everyone to leave my Edward's alone.
So, now the mean mommy comes in. The new rule in my house is that if you so much as brush your fingers across Edward you go to timeout. And my timeouts (courtesy of B2) are mean and uncomfortable. You stand in the corner for 1 minute per year you were alive and put your arms above your head. The arms must not touch the wall. The same rule applies to baby Edward and life-size Bella. And if I am going to go that far, I will also include my many magazines. Just don't touch anything Twilight related and you will be safe.
You may think that I need a life. That I need parenting classes, but I am telling you, I ask for very little and the crayon art work on my walls and the juice stains on the couch prove that I do let my kids be kids. Just not with Edward.
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